Dear Squats, thank you.

Dear Squats,

You're like a father who tells their rambunctious child, "This will hurt but it's for your own good."

Much like the father who brought leather across our backsides to make us better people later, you also hurt us temporarily to change our lives forever and for that, I thank you.

Thank you, Squats. Thank you for making me stronger in my everyday movements. Since I was a little kid sneaking away in the corner to mess up my diaper in perfect unencumbered squat form, you have been around. You are there now as I drop my squat made hind parts down to help me lift the box of books as my neighbor down the street move. Thank you for giving me the strength, mobility, and know how to do so.

Thank you, Squats. Thank you for being the best exercise to build raw dense muscle. Muscle, the stuff that helps me burn 50-70 extra calories a day at rest for each pound of it I put on. Thank you for allowing me to burn an entire Big Mac because of the 10lbs of muscle added to my entire body from your perfect existence.

Thank you, Squats. Thank you for beneficially taxing my stabilizer muscles and positively impacting  my ligaments, joints, and connective tissues as I drop down with knees pushed out and glutes squeezed tight. Thank you for helping my friend, Tony Lisotta transform his crystallized hip joints into silky smooth greasy ball and sockets that would impress Pyrros Dimas.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Squats. Thank you so much for the increased balance you have given me. You make my brain fire signals to every inch of my body which makes my central nervous system sharp as a tack and you even strengthen my bones better than a mega dose of tums. Milk may do a body good but you take the cake when it comes to healthy bones and body health.

Squats, I thank you. I thank you for making the confidence of my female friends sore from the benefits seen in their backside. I thank you for making my scrawny friend increase size in his upper half because you force his body to maintain a natural homeostasis as growth hormones and testosterone pump through his body after 5 heavy sets. I praise you and I thank you for improving my overall body strength, burning up my loveless lovies, allowing me to stuff my face because of the metabolic furnace you have turned me into, and I thank you for being the General, Emperor, King, and Guardian of the faith when it comes to exercises.

Like the wind...

(6/11/2013)
AoS

Warm up: #1 Skill: Split Jerk Footwork Strength: 6 Min EMOM 1 PC + 1 Hang Clean + 1 Split Jerk @ 75%+ Workout: 4 Rounds In 3 person groups rotating between exercises and resting 10 seconds between exercises and 20 seconds between rounds 1 Min on Ropes -20 (s) Kneeling Grappler's Throw 20 (s) Slams 20 (s) Kneeling Grappler's Throw 1 Min Broad Jump Burpees 1 Min Jump Rope The Barbell Club Warm Up: #1 Skill: Shoulder Mobility Strength: 7X1 Snatches & Snatch Balance -2 Snatches + 1 Snatch Balance @ AHAP Snatch First Pull -4X3 @ AHAP Then... Strict Press -4x3 @ Heavy (work up in weight) Pullups -4x5 Negative Pullups (4-5 second count down) Shut Up and Pull Up Challenge OFF DAY